4 Simple Steps to Finding Your Soulmate

There’s somebody out there for everybody; here’s our guide to find your true match.

Our culture romanticizes everything. We grow up on concepts like princesses locked in castles waiting for their saviors; or men who wait their whole lives for one woman without ever taking another lover. We watch movies with men performing grand gestures to win over the love of a woman, women getting drastic makeovers to catch the attention of a man, and marriages that last for a blissful eternity.

Luckily, most of us have gathered that many of these stories are fantasies- that expecting other people to deliver a certain level of romance unto us is a losing game; and that meeting our soulmate is not always as easy as it looks. People don’t realistically wait around their whole lives for the right person- they move on. And no matter how beautiful we are on the outside, if we’re not actively participating in some form of self work and introspection, all of our relationships will inevitably fail.

The Counterintuitive Truth
There are game shows, online dating platforms, and books with hundreds of pages dedicated to finding our soulmate. With an industry like this, it seems that searching for “the one” is a highly nuanced skill that involves putting forth tons of effort, time, and energy. But finding our soulmate is a task involving the most counterintuitive thing of all; focusing on ourselves. When we become the best person we can be, harnessing all of our potential inner power, we are opening ourselves up to receiving our soulmate. Below are a few steps we can take to do just that.

Step 1: Forget About The Chase.

We’re taught, our whole lives, that a lover completes us. But the second we become desperate to find one, feeling like we need someone to complete us, is the second our search will fizzle out. Remember that the energy we put out into the universe is the same energy we receive; so if we’re sending out these hopeless romantic vibes, we’ll attract similar people. And not only will they not be the one for us, the results of the partnership has the capability of being quite explosive, codependent and toxic. We may even remain in these relationships out of fear that we’ll never find anyone better. This happens because we’re not confident enough in who we are and what we deserve. Which brings us to the next step:

Step 2: Fall in Love With Yourself, First.

We need to decide what kind of person we want to be with and then allow our energies and behaviors to match that person; in order to meet our soulmate, we have to be operating on soulmate-level vibes. By taking this time to discover who we are and what we want, we’re creating a life we love. And by doing this, we’re also cultivating space for another person to step into our lives and make it better. But without having a healthy relationship with ourselves, first, these efforts will be futile.

Here are a few ways to do this: 

Meditate or do yoga
These practices are designed to strengthen the connections we have with ourselves, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Focusing on them for just an hour a day yields incredible results. 

Go on a retreat for a fresh start
Retreats are amazing ways to hit the reset button, put yourself first, and decide what you want and need out of life. You’ll be in a safe place to heal your wounds from the past, dislodge your “stuckness”, and gain healthy coping mechanisms for any issues with mood and perception. Might we add- it’s also a great place to meet like minded people. 

Take a leap of faith

Plan out your future and take action. Take risks. Do the thing you’ve been putting off forever because you are afraid. The universe rewards those who confront their fears and step out of their comfort zones. And be authentic; don’t follow the same path as everyone else’s. Your soulmate will find your own individual journey to be the most unique, attractive thing about you.

Elevate your environment.
Hate your job? Hanging out with negative people? Living under drab conditions? Find a new career. Surround yourself with positive folks (try a retreat). Move or redecorate. To begin living the life you want to live, simply act.

Step 3: Release What No Longer Serves You.

The people we surround ourselves with matter. We subconsciously pick up on the energies of the people around us; our relationships are mirrors into our lives. Even though we may love our friends and loved ones, they can be negative forces on our lives that leave us feeling drained and anxious. It’s important to cleanse ourselves of these energies regularly, and leave them behind if necessary.

The people that truly love us will understand if we need to set boundaries for ourselves. Releasing these relationships will help us become the best versions of ourselves and attract our soulmates. It also helps immensely to forge relationships with other people who actively participate in self work. A retreat is a great place to meet such friends, and exchange inspiring vibes.

Step 4: Practice Rituals; Visualize, Manifest, and Believe.

As we start to change and grow, we’ll ideally forget about our search for love. We’ll become so immersed in creating a better life for ourselves and loving who we’ve become to care. This is the sweet spot- it’s where we subconsciously start to attract others who are doing the same exact thing (see?!). It’s crucial, then, to remember that our soulmate will not approach us on a red carpet and shake our hands saying, “Hi! I’m your soulmate.” If life could only be so easy!

Instead, opportunities to meet our person may be less obvious. A friend might offer to set us up; we may meet somebody while on vacation, on a retreat, or shopping at the grocery store. We need to become more open to these subtle instances by learning how to listen to our intuition.

Along with the practices we mentioned before to build a more intimate relationship with ourselves, we can also deepen it and strengthen our intuition by adding a few rituals into our daily routine. Visualizing our ideal soulmate regularly, reciting positive affirmations about who we are and what we want, and continuing to manifest the best versions of ourselves are all fantastic rituals that help us grow and connect.

Most importantly, we must learn to believe we deserve to meet our soulmates. We spend much of our lives in a state of self loathing- it’s crucial to deprogram that though process and understand our worthiness. We must be watchful and aware of our self talk, and actively acknowledge that there is a person out there just for us.

Last, we must make certain that we are committing fully to our self work. It can be easy to let good, healthy habits fall to the wayside. We highly recommend “celebrating” these decisions in a big way; whether showing our commitment by making a big life change and taking a leap of faith, or attending one of our retreats to kick off a fresh start. The most amazing days of our lives are about to begin- we must remember to celebrate them!